Hyper notes with the Cullens
by InkandPaper94
Summary: Just random notes that resemble me and my friends' weirdness. Should be interesting and funny... I have a big sense of humor. I laugh at everything . Rated T for weirdness and ranting about sometimes adult things petifials and other things... Enjoy !
1. SACKOPAVUPOPTWAN

**Yeah, I've read so many notes stories with Bella and the Cullens (some pimpin, some not so pimpin .) So I'm gonna write my own notes that are completely Amanda-riginal, tehehe. My friends and I are hyper about 4 days out of 5 school days or 6 out of 7, a week! Yeah, I'm smart. So, I'm going to use things that we say, or use my own little things. You see, when I'm extremely hyper, I have "rants" about anything that people say. Lately, I've been having a lot of fat rants. I am over weight so it's okay hopefully. . I'm not insulting fat people, more like myself, which is surprisingly fun. Making fun of my fatness helps my self esteem somehow… Anywho, here's my first note thingy. If ya'll want more, let me know! (P.S. I'ma takes the idea of having each person a certain font thing, like bold, italics, that kind of stuff from notes stories I've read!)**

Chapter 1

SACKOPAVUPOPTWAN

**Bella **_Edward _Alice

Bella and Edward are in the Cullen living room doing their homework…

**Le sigh**

_What's wrong, love? And, why are we writing notes?_

**I am upset because I am compuzzled, and we are writing notes, because I feel like it.**

_Compuzzled? _

**Yuppers, I'm compuzzled because I can't figure out my homework…**

_I'm almost done… I can help_

**No, its okay, I'll try it myself…**

(2 minutes later)

**Hey, Edward, what did you get for number 1?**

_I got 325_

**Oh, awesome! Me too… So, what did you get for number 2?**

_876_

**Cool, so did I… So, what did you get for number 3?**

_Okay, I can see you writing down the answers, do you just want to copy mine?_

**Yes please. Thank you**

_No problem, love_

(After copying down all of Edward's answers, Alice walks in)

Hello everyone –giggles-

_Alice, you do realize that you didn't really giggle, right?_

Ahuh, I just wanted to get into this note writing stuff you two have been doing

**Oh, awesome, welcome to the club Alice!**

You, know what Bella…

**What Alice?**

This note passing club needs a name

**Hmm… you seem to be correct Alice… but whatever shall we call it… -ponders-**

Yes –ponders-

_What in the world are you two doing?_

**Thinking of a name for our note passing club. You're welcome to join Edward**

Yeah, Eddy-pants go ahead and join…

_Okay, please don't call me Eddy-pants!_

And, why not!?

**Yeah, why not, Eddy-pants… It's kind of cute!**

_-Sigh- fine_

**O…M… flippidy dippidy…G! Eddy-pants is getting into the note stuff. He just wrote –sigh-**

I love you're new version of OMG!

**Why thank you Al-pal **

_Ha, she called you Al-pal_

Oh, shut up Edward. I like it Bella!

**Yeah!**

Yeap, tis awesome Bella-Fella

**Hmm… Bella-fella, it has potential…**

_Not really…_

Oh, STFU party-pooper

_STFU?_

**Don't ask… It's not nice…**

_No need anyway, I just read Alice's_

Al-pal!

_Don't steal the paper! And, fine, Al-pal's mind. And, same to you!_

Awww, someone's grumpy!

_Shush Al-pal!_

**Don't tell my bff to shut up!**

_Sorry_

Yeah, shut up Edward!

**Hey, don't tell my bf to shut up!**

Sorry, Bell-cake

_I thought she was Bella-fella…_

**Who cares, they both are pimpin!**

_Right…_

Right on sista!

_Anyways…_

**Back to the name dilemma! **

Yus, whatever shall we be called…

**OH! We shall be called… SACKOPAVUPOPTWAN**

_What does that mean?_

How can you not know Eddy-pants? Even I know and I'm just her bff, you're her fricken fiancée, you should speak awesome bellaness better than I… but alas, thou doesn't.

_Whatever, Alic_

-growls-

_Al-pal… so what does SACKOPAVUPOPTWAN mean? And, how is it pronounced?_

**It is pronounced sack-oh-paav-up-opt-won and it means: Super awesome cool krew of people and vampires using pencils or pens to write awesome notes**

_You spelled krew wrong…_

Silly vampire, dictionaries are for kids…

_Okay…_

**Eddy-pants, I did not spell it wrong, I spelled it with awesome pimpiness… **

_Alright then…_

So, it's settled. We are now the new members of the super awesome fantastic club of SACKOPAVUPOPTWAN!

**WOOT WOOT!**

_Huzzah_

**Wow, you're excited?**

No he's not ;)

**You're a mean liar Eddy-pants!**

_Well, this isn't really all exciting…_

**You're mom! **

(With that note, Bella leaves the room, running to go rant to Emmett about Edward. Alice is laughing at Bella and Edward is confused. When he asks "what the hell was that about?" Alice explains her giving Bella a lot of sugar earlier, therefore the new hyper Bella that we've never seen before was born…)

**Yeah, I know that might've been a bit boring, but I found it funny. I guess it depends on your sense of humor… mine is to laugh at everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. I find almost everything funny… tis sad I know. I hope you liked it and want more, because it's gonna get better now that the group has been introduced. Please review! If you flame me, I shall stab you…**

**Amanda . **


	2. santa is coming!

Chapter 2

Santa is coming

**Bella **_Edward_ Alice Emmett

(Alice and Emmett are setting up for Christmas while Edward is listening to music. Suddenly, Santa Claus is coming to town comes on the radio. Bella runs out of the kitchen screaming and slaps a piece of paper on the table as they all gather.)

**-Screams-**

_Oh my God, Bella are you okay? Stop screaming. Just write it!_

**-Takes deep breath- I'm okay. Just turn the damn radio off!**

Why?

Do you have something against Christmas music or something?

**NO! It's just that song!**

_What? Santa Claus is coming to town?_

**-Shudders- Yes. O…M… flippidy dippidy… G don't say that!**

What, that Santa is coming?

**Stop it! I'm scared –looks around all paranoid like-**

_Why are you scared?_

Wait, you're scared of Santa, Bella?

**-Nods- **

Oh my God, this is RICH!

**You know what Emmett?**

What? 

**Go fall in a well and die –death glares-**

Edward, you're fiancee's kinda nuts

(Edward hits Emmett)

_No she's not. Now, Bella, why are you afraid of Santa?_

**Because he's coming for me…**

_He is?_

**Well, ch'yea. Haven't you heard the song? "Santa Claus is coming to town… for you"**

I don't think that 'for you' part is in it –laughs-

**Still true**

_So, you don't want Santa to come for you?_

**No, because he's a petifial**

_Bella, you do realize that Santa isn't re…_

Wait, what? Santa is a LIE! OH MY GOD! I AM SCARRED! –fedal position-

Good job Eddy-pants, you emotionally scarred Emmett and now Bella is even more freaked out

_I'm sorry, Bella. Emmett, suck it up._

Hey, hey Edward. Hey Edward. Guess what? Guess what Edward? –says in voice like Stewie from Family Guy-

_What?_

F- U

_Kay. Bella, stop rocking back in forth please. It's disturbing._

**But, he's coming –whispers-**

_Alright then. How is he a petifial?_

**Listen! "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake"**

_So, you think that Santa is really a petifial watching you?_

You know, Bella, now that you mention it, that song does have a double meaning, lol

**Exactly, so Santa's watching me, RIGHT NOW! And, on Christmas he's gonna come and rape me and stuff**

_What?_

**You heard me. He'll probably rape Alice and Emmett too**

Why Emmett and me?

**Because, he likes little girls…**

OH! EMMETT YOU JUST GOT SERVED!

_Ha, that was good Bella_

Bella, go die… jeez Edward, stop growling, you sound like a rabid gerbil on crack

_What the hell?_

Haha, that was great Emmy-nemmy

_Ha, now you have a stupid nick name too!_

Shut it Eddy-pants –glares-

_Die Emmy-nemmy –growls-_

**Both of you shut up! I'm having a break down!**

_-sighs- don't worry, Bella…_

Eddy-pants!

_Bella-cake, I won't let Santa rape you._

**-Calms down a bit- okay, thanks. Ily**

_Ily too._

Uh-oh…

_What did you see… Holy crap._

**What's wrong?**

_Ummm Bella, Carlisle volunteered to help out at the hospital holiday party tonight…_

**And?**

Well…

(At that moment, Carlisle walks into the room from the kitchen, dressed as Santa for the party. Emmett laughs, Alice rolls her eyes, and Edward widens his at what happens next. Bella screams frickin bloody murder practically and passes out…)

Merry Christmas

_Indeed…_

Yes, indeed…

**Yup that's it. I have a huge fear of Santa ever since I realized his 'secret' (case little kids are reading, which they SHOULDN'T BE!) anyway, listen to the song. For god's sake, he's a petifial! I'm afraid of him and all and every time I hear that song I scream… Plus, one time, I was helping out at a breakfast with Santa and I screamed when I saw the Santa guy. I didn't pass out… but I went into fedal position . please review, and happy holidays!**


	3. NOOB

**Chapter 3**

**NOOB**

**Bella **Alice _**Jasper **__Edward _

**Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha!**

_What's so funny?_

**Pfft… nothing…**

_Oka_

**CHOCOLATE! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE CHOCOLATE!**

_**My god Bella, what is wrong with you? You're emotions are all… strange**_

What is she feeling?

_**She's all hyper and energetic and bubbly… it's rather disturbing…**_

_I'm sure it is. Bella you should stop eating all that chocolate, it's not healthy_

Yeah, plus you'll get all bloaty like…

**Oh, I see how it is! I SEE HOW IT IS! So, now I'm fat, EH!? HUH? I'M FAT! **

Calm down Bella…

_**Spaz… **_

**O… M… Flippidy dippidy… G! You think I'm a fat spaz huh? I'll KILL YOU ALL!**

_First of all, love, you aren't fat, second of all, I highly doubt that you could kill us…_

**Oh, so now I'm a weak fat person! So, what, you think that I can't lift my arms to sock you in the face! Because I can't life my fatitude!**

_**Fatitude?**_

**YES!**

Oh my God Bella, you aren't fat!

**You're mom!**

_**Alright then…**_

_Wow, this is strange…_

**OH so fat people are strange EH!?  
**You do realize you aren't Canadian. Stop saying eh…

**DIE!**

Nice…

**I'm so sad now…**

_Why?_

**Because I am fat and therefore I can never be sexually active because no one will be able to find anything under all the fat!**

_**You're funny when you're spazzing out!**_

I wonder what she's like when she's drunk…

_NO YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO THAT MARY ALICE BRANDON CULLEN!_

Fine! Spoil my fun why don't ch'a?

**Hey, Edward? –smiles sweetly-**

_Yes, love?_

**GIVE ME CHOCOLATE YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!**

_**Oh my god! Bella's gone crazy!**_

Bella, let go of Edward's neck. You can't strangle him you know.

**Fine, pouts.**

_Bella, I think Carlisle should look at you…_

**Why is that? So, he can laugh at my fatness!**

_No…_

**F-U Jim!**

_My name isn't Jim…_

**Not yet it isn't…**

_Huh?_

**EVOLUTION!**

_**So you think that Edward's name will evolve to the name Jim?**_

**Yuppers Jazzy-wazzy!**

AWESOME!

_**Eugh, don't call me that…**_

**You know what?**

_**What?**_

**YOU'RE FACE!**

Cool…

_Bella, you should calm down…_

**NO, YOU SHOULD!**

_I am_

**No you're not…**

_Alright then how abo_

**Oh I see how it is! IGNORE THE FAT PERSON! **

_Please don't steal the paper, and that's not what I was doing…_

**Whatever… FAT POWER! **

Awesome, you sound like a powerranger…

**SWE-EET!**

_**Bella, you're making me feel drunk**_

**Don't care Jazzy-boy**

_**Grrr…**_

**Grr your face!**

You know what Bella…

**Yes?**

You should make a club for the promoting of fatitude!

**Yes, we shall call it NOOB!**

_**Why noob?**_

_-sigh- yes, why?_

**It stands for "National Organization for Obese Bitches!"**

Sweet

_**Awesome**_

_Okay then…_

Let's go eat chocolate? Or at least you can

**WOOHOO! **

(Alice and Bella go to the kitchen while Edward and Jasper just look at each other shrug and watch TV. You can hear Alice laughing, Bella screaming Chocolate randomly and then a large crash. When asked what that was, Bella laughs and yells 'fat power' and goes to eat more chocolate.)

**Yes, I know strange. My friends and I actually came up with NOOB for the promoting of fatitude so yeah… sorry if I offend but I am fat too… BYE! MERRY CHRISTMAS!**


End file.
